Lets look at some taboo topics that you don’t know how to bring up to your therapist. Therapy is a vulnerable and emotional space and having these conversations can be crucial to the therapeutic process. Here we go!
- “I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Sometimes therapists get stuck in their own psychobabble. We have years of schooling, experience, and participate in ongoing training with like-minded professionals using the same language. Sometimes we become excited to share what we’ve learned, especially if we feel it aligns with your personal experience, or if it could help you. I often say “am I making sense,” as a way to check in to see if my client is understanding.
- “I’m upset with you.” There are times where a session feels off, or your therapist may say something that hurts or offends you. The best way to work through this is to say something. Not only will working through it help the therapeutic relationship, but it’s an opportunity to work through a conflict in a safe container. This requires communicating what triggered you in the moment and what conversation needs to look like to repair.
- “What are you doing this weekend?” So often, clients want to ask their therapists personal questions. Some therapists are open books and others will not answer any personal questions. This is called disclosure. Many times therapists disclose personal information without using their words (e.g. wearing a wedding ring). If a therapist does chose to answer personal questions, they may keep it short and sweet as to not interfere with your work. They also may say “I’m curious as to why you want to know.” You’re always welcome to ask, just be prepared for a question right back at you.
- “I’m developing feelings for you.” This is way more common than you think, and not a crazy or shameful experience. Therapy is an intimate experience where once a week you have someone’s undivided attention as they wholeheartedly listen to your thoughts and experiences. This common phenomenon is called transference, and happens when unconscious thoughts and feelings are placed onto someone else. Your therapist will help you gain insight in understanding your underlying wants, needs, and fears. All of these consciously and unconsciously play out in your overall functioning. A skilled therapist is also ethically bound to maintain professional boundaries.
So here I am waving a green flag. Use this as an opportunity to ask or talk with your therapist about something that you may feel is awkward.
